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birra's Journal


birra's Journal

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11 entries this month
 

21:50 Apr 30 2018
Times Read: 1,351


Hidden data is a funny thing. Yahoo messenger used to save all of your conversations in a local profile. You should see the back-end of what Outlook stores. Facebook stores everything you've ever done, or said.

How much of what we don't want anymore is still floating out there?

You'd be surprised...


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13:27 Apr 29 2018
Times Read: 1,357


Nice shot over the bow.

Anyway, the event last night wasn't exactly what I expected. Certainly thought there would be more participants than just donors. The place was packed with creepy old men who just wanted to get their picture taken with young girls in a costume.

I still believe major religions are the cause of this.


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22:14 Apr 17 2018
Times Read: 1,389


Broken again. The updates that keep breaking my website are getting annoying.


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23:29 Apr 15 2018
Times Read: 1,383


Not sure if I even look forward to weekends at this point.

They don't change much about my days....


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01:07 Apr 13 2018
Times Read: 1,403


My department assistant assigned to getting everything up and running with my new contract is pretty cute.

Cute in a, I want to choke her while I bang her on the edge of the bed kind of way, but cute, none-the-less....


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LustyJon
LustyJon
08:44 Apr 16 2018

Nice





 

08:01 Apr 11 2018
Times Read: 1,423


There has to be a balance, right?

My balance has completely tipped away from me. I need some time in the woods....


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04:32 Apr 07 2018
Times Read: 1,438


Part of my problem is I'm torn between wanting to trust people openly, and take them and their word at face value, and knowing just how easily people lie, not trusting them at all.

It creates so much conflict within me, and leads to anxiety.

I feel as though if they can't open up, then they're hiding something. And wanting to dig into what is being hidden so I don't get blind-sided yet again in this life is part of the anxiety.

How do you demand openness? How do you show patience, and understanding, yet deal with that trust balance.

I'm starting to conclude trust doesn't exist, honesty is nearly an impossible thing to find, and I should spend more time just going after the things I want, regardless of who might have hurt feelings in the process. But then, guilt sets in....

This sucks.


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17:20 Apr 06 2018
Times Read: 1,449


They just finalized the script yesterday. Shooting is Sunday morning.

I have a lot of lines to memorize by then....


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14:42 Apr 04 2018
Times Read: 1,456


So today I get to actually have a chill day, and work on video projects that I've been neglecting.

Of course, with a lack of chill days recently, I'm not sure if I can stay focused on projects... time alone is rare, indeed.


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02:01 Apr 04 2018
Times Read: 1,466


I got to spend a lot of quality time with my kids the last two days.

I needed that so much....


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23:02 Apr 02 2018
Times Read: 1,478


She sang cantor for a roman catholic easter mass Saturday night.

It reminded me of so many reasons why I left the catholic church those many, many years ago.

How insufferably pompous, and cult-like the entire thing is. Repeating the same things, over, and over. Reading a 10-page story in song-fashion because if you just read it, you'd realize it made no sense, so confuse it up with bad harmonies, and the occasional hallelujah.

Almost two and a half hours later, we got to leave.

I spent time sending her these texts:

Roman Catholicism is infuriatigly cultish and pompous.
But they have these great picture stories in stained glass windows
Jesus ia buying a boat. So he walks out the the boat but then he decides he doesn't want it so he walks away but the people in the boat go after him to try and change his mind
Then he's in an Air Supply music video wearing a silver sequined blouse
He's taping up a guy's ankle. Must have gotten injured in the football match.
He's showing someone a rock. "Look at this big fucking rock" he says... The man seems unimpressed....
He s cooking fish. But the fish aren't cleaned or even in the fire... So they're still white and not cooking very well. His flames are too high. He'll only scortch them....
George Lucas is in prison with an angel.... The angel is telling him to calm down with dumb Gungan plot lines in the prequels...
There's a sick girl with amazingly nice hair for a sick girl in the bronze age...
Lets drag this oooUUUOooUUUUTTTT. hallelujah hallelujah hallelujah


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